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Persona 4 Abridged Episode 1 Script
The following is the script for the first episode of Persona 4 Abridged, unedited from its original form. Some content may have been changed. Script RUNNING OVER A GUY Igor: Welcome to the Velvet room. This place exists between dream and reality. Mind and matter. Margaret: Just humor him. He'll fall asleep in about a minute. Igor: Allow me to read your fortune. Igor: Ah, this one says... wait... is... is that the tower? That's the tower, right? Margaret: Yeah, it's the tower. Igor: I think it's... probably the tower. And uh that symbolizes... uh... somethin' about a... Igor: Let's move onto the moon, shall we? -snore- EVERY DAY'S GREAT AT YOUR JUNES. PEACEFUL TRAIN RIDE Crook: THIS IS A ROBBERY. GET ON THE GROUND AND REACH FOR THE SKY. Pasenger: I'm not that flexible! GUN SHOT NEXT SHOT OF THE TRAIN IS ON FIRE Yu: Well I'm lost. Dojima: I hope you haven't been waiting long. Yu: What happened to 2:30? Dojima: So this my daughter Nanako. Isn't she precious? Nanako: Um he-- Dojima: I never said you could talk. SHE HITS HIM. Dojima: FUCKING HE HITS HER BACK SPEEDS OFF Yu: Aren't you going a little fast? Dojima: Oh thanks pussy police. I'll write myself a ticket right away. Yu: You just ran the light. Dojima: We're low on gas. Not Izanami: Wow. You pulled in fast. DOJIMA STARES Not Izanami: Hey, what's your name? Yu: I'm Yu. Not Izanami: That's not funny, kid. Yu: Well what's your name? Not Izanami: We have a strict no-name policy here. Yu: Uh. Not Izanami (whispers): I don't wash this hand. Yu: (sick noise) Nanako: Are you alright? Yu: Yeah, I'm okay. Where'd that guy run off to? Dojima: Guy? You've been talking to yourself for a while. Nanako: Wait, where are we going? Dojima: It's okay, I'm a cop. KNOCK ON A DOOR Resident: Hello? Dojima: We're comandeering this house. Get out. Resident: Where are we supposed to-- Dojima: Not my problem. Dojima: Aw there's no fuckin' beer in the fridge? They were probably Jehoova's Wtinesses or somethin'. SHITTY RINGTONE Dojima: Yeah? Yeah, they only have cough syrup. Fuckin' weak, am I right? Well I'm gonna to the corner store with Adachi. I'll be back tomorrow. Yu: So your dad's a detective, right? Nanako: I hope so. Yu: What have I gotten myself int-- -snore- Izanagi: Sup? Yu: Am I dreaming? Izanagi: Probably. Yu: Can I go back to bed. Izanagi: I dunno, can you? Yosuke: HEY NEW KID, CHECK THIS OUT. HE CRASHES Yosuke: OH NO THE SQUIRREL'S GOT ME! Morooka: ALRIGHT SHIT-STAINS. WE GOT A NEW STUDENT. YU WRITES HIS NAME IN JAPANESE Morooka: What the fuck is that? Just fuckin' sit down. Chie: Teacher, I think Yosuke's dead. Yosuke: uuuuuuuuuu Morooka: GOOD. THE NEW KID CAN TAKE HIS SEAT. Chie: By the way, I'm Chie. Morooka: QUIT EYE-FUCKIN' EACHOTHER. THIS IS A PUBLIC INSTITUTION. Saki: Last time I checked there was a school somewhere around here. Dead body: AAAAAAAAAA Saki: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ding dong ding dong School announcer: THERE'S A FUCKING DEAD BODY OUTSIDE EVERYBODY PANIC! AAAAAAAAA FIRE ALARM GOES OFF SHATTERING WINDOW Chie: So wanna walk home together? Yu: Shouldn't we uh... Chie: Happens all the time. This is Yukiko. Yukiko: Um, hi. Yosuke: WOW GREAT MOVIE. REALLY LOVED THE SCENE WITH THE GUY. YOU KNOW THE ONE. GOTTA GO BYE. Chie: Wait, Yosuke. What the heck is this?! Yosuke: My DVD player ate the movie so I gave you a new one instead. Chie: And what makes you think I wanna watch Space Chimps? Yosuke: It made me think of you. Dojima: Wait, I got an idea. Hey, Adachi! Come 'ere! Adachi: What is i-- puking noises Dojima: Never gets old. Wait, what are y-- GET OFF THE ROOF! THIS IS A CRIME SCENE! Officer: Hang on, we're just gettin' our frisbee.NEXT DAY Yosuke: mumbled noises Yosuke: NO PUT ME BACK IN, I ALMOST GOT IT. Yu: Um... Yosuke: So since you're the new guy and all, I thought I'd offer you up some delcious grub! NEXT SCENE Yosuke: Man, you'll never guess where I found these! Wait when did you get here? Chie: I've always been here. Yu: Wait, found? TV Announcer: TODAY WE FOUND A FUCKING DEAD BODY AAAAAAAA AWKWARD SILENCE Chie: So anyway, did you hear about the midnight channel? Yu: No, I've only been here for two days. Chie: They say if you look at the TV at midnight, you'll see your soulmate! Yu: Wait, who actually bothered to stare at a TV long enough around midnight to find out? Yosuke: I think you're overestimating how much there is to do around here. Chie: So anyway wanna check it out? Yu: Nah, that sounds kinda lame. Yosuke: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Saki: Hey you! Yu: HOW'D YOU KNOW MY NAME? Saki: Uh, whose the new kid? Yosuke: He's Yu. Saki: No he's not. Well see ya. Anchor man: So what was seeing a dead body like? How did it feel against your soft skin? Has the thought of being the next victim ever crossed your mind? Saki: Uh, what? Anchor man: I said were you scared? Saki: Uh... News lady: And now back to our regular scheduled Junes commercials. Junes commercial: RED BULL MAY GIVE YOU WINGS BUT JUNES HAS TVS! Nanako: Every day's great at your Junes! Yu: Nanako, why is he in a straight jacket? Nanako: Time for bed! Yu: No but seriousl-- oh whatever. Yu: Oh my God why am I actually doing this? TV ACTUALLY TURNS ON Yu: Okay seriously WHY AM I DOING THIS? Dojima: I don't know but keep in quiet up there! And get me out of this straight jacket! NEXT SCENE Yosuke: Dude! Saki's my soulmate! I saw her on the Midnight Channel! Chie: Apparently she's my soulmate too. Yukiko: Yeah, me too. Yosuke: Think the TV's tryin' to tell you something? Chie: Shut up. Yosuke: No no! I can get into that! Chie: Oh my God... Yosuke: So what about you? Yu: The TV tried to kill me. Chie: Wait are you... afraid of TVs? Yu: No, no. My TV actually tried to eat my hand. Yosuke: Don't worry, Narukame. We'll try to face your fears together! Lets go to Junes! AT JUNES Yosuke: Come on! Just look at it, it's harmless. Yu: Guys, you don't understand. Yosuke: I understand completely. Don't worry it's more afraid of you than you are of it. Chie: Wait, where's Yukiko? YU PUTS HIS HAND IN Yosuke: OH MY GOD THE TV'S TRYING TO EAT HIM! Mall cops: Hey, what's all that noise? Chie: Quick, let's cheese it! Mall security: Wut? Chie and Yosuke: AAAAAAAAAAA Chie: Ow! Yosuke: Ow! Yu: ow. Chie: AH THE COP FOLLOWED US IN! RUN! Chie/Yosuke/Yu: AAAAAAAA Chie: I think we lost him. Yu: Oh my God! We're in the TV! Chie: Brilliant deduct-- Yosuke, what are you doing? Yosuke: I'm trying to pee, but I can't concentrate with Yu standing there! Chie, you can stay. Chie: Oh my fucking... AAAAAAA Teddie: AAAAAAAA WHY ARE WE YELLING? Yosuke: Chie, what's wrong? Chie: Wait, you can talk?! Teddie: Of course I can talk. I'm a bear! Yosuke: Oh that makes-- what? Teddie: NO TIME. THEY'RE COMING! SDJFASDKFJMASDKFLMSADLFKMSDLKS HERE TAKE THIS AAAAAAAAA Yosuke: Why didn't I get a pair? Chie: Is that seriously the only thing disturbing you about this situation? Shadow (whispering): You feel beautiful. Chie: AAAAAAAA Yosuke/Chie/Yu: More screaming SHADOW LICKS CHIE Yosuke: How did that seriously knock her out? Yu: How are you not phased by this? Izanagi: Wanna see a cool trick? Pick a card. Yu: There's only one. Izanagi: Makes your decision easy, doesn't it? YU BREAKS THE CARD Yu: Ow...... ALL OF THE SHADOWS DIE. WILHELM SCREAM Izanagi: Well see ya. Yosuke: Why are you taking your shirt off? YU SMILES AND IT ENDSCategory:Persona 4 Abridged Category:P4A Scripts